Tony refers to the X-Men as the “Special Snowflake Squad” from “Mutant Hogwarts”.
Submitted by simpaticonebula
((I made another thing. Now back to your regularly scheduled hiatus.))
Actual five year olds
AU: Loki gets detention for lipping off a teacher,
When he gets there he finds some familiar faces who have also gotten detention
avengers breakfast club!au?? yes pLEASE
You guys wanted a fic and so…I did!
Loki groaned when he opened the library door. He was there for Saturday detention and of fucking course it would be this group of misfits he’d get stuck with. “Ugh…not you guys again!” He’d had detention with all of them at one time or another, but never all six at the same time. He stomped forward, headed for his usual seat at the back table. “So, what’d you all do this time?” he asked.
Tony Stark: genius, billionaire, inventor, pyromaniac. “I blew stuff up in shop class again.”
Steve Rogers: jock with a heart of gold, the anti-bully. “Decked a guy pickin’ on some kid in the hall.”
Bruce Banner: genius level stoner with anger issues. “Got caught skipping class.”
Thor Odinson: his bull-in-a-china-shop step-brother. “Broke another desk.”
Clint Barton: stoner, comic nerd, DnD geek, and pervert. “Pulled up Nat’s skirt in math.”
Natasha Romanoff: beautiful but deadly prom queen and cheerleader. “Punched Clint in the jaw.”
Oh lovely. And of course, they were all friends. With each other. Not him. Never him. The only one he ever got on with was Stark, and that had been an accident. Nothing like a school project to force you both into finding out your fathers hate you for the same ‘you aren’t good enough’ reason. Charming. And then they’d never spoken of it again.
Of course Loki had known about his brother’s incident with the desk, making that the fourth this semester. They hadn’t come in together though because Thor had stayed at Steve’s house over night. And that’d had Loki seething with rage. Of course, a broken desk couldn’t ever flaw their father’s perfect image of the blond. He got a sleep over while all Loki ever got was a lecture and grounded for a week.
Speaking of Rogers, he was a weird case. You’d think the school would give him some leeway on the hit, considering the fact that it was the most effective anti-bully method out there. No one got bullied when Steve Rogers was around. He even stopped some of his teammates from beating the shit out of Loki, though the brunette was sure he’d hesitated. Jerk. Then again, this was the sixth time…
Banner was a weird one too. He was the stereotypical nerd kid, spent at least as many non-detention hours in the library as Loki, and most people expected him to always want to be in class and be the teacher’s perfect little pet. But every time he had the chance, he was gone, as far away from anyone that wasn’t his little posse as he could get.
Barton was hard to explain. As far as Loki knew, he did great in all his classes, but he was high half the time, and had never been seen to actually do any work. There’d been a rumor sophomore year that he was a dealer, and dealt to the teachers, but nothing ever came of it. And he flirted with almost every woman in sight, except for Natasha.
Because Romanoff was his best friend, and had been for years. Loki knew there was a bet going around the school to see when they’d actually make it official, and he could see why. They obviously had a thing for each other. It was Barton’s lack of flirting that actually clued everyone into the fact that she meant more to him. Then again, maybe it was because Natasha could eviscerate him if he even tried.
“And what’re you in for, oh sassy one?” Tony asked, leaning back in his chair.
“Lipped off to a teacher, what else Stark?” Loki snarked back with a smirk.
Tony chuckled, but all further conversation was cut off as Principal Fury walked in. “Just so you all know,” he began, pausing in front of the tables they were all seated at, “I hate every single one of you for making me be here on a Saturday.” They all got a good chuckle out of that. Fury wasn’t so bad, Loki decided, just a bit of a hard ass. Being in the military would do that to you. But he never gave kids the ‘I expect better of you’ lecture, mostly because he didn’t. He understood what most of the teachers were still clueless about. High school was the place you made mistakes, and if your mistake was being a violent goody-two-shoes, or blowing shit to kingdom come, or trying to piss off and embarrass your best friend, or decking your best friend for being a dick, or breaking things because you have no idea how to control your strength, or skipping a class you were too smart to be in so you didn’t blow something up, or mouthing off to a teacher that actually deserved it, then that was fine with him and it was best you got it out of your system. Unfortunately, there was still school policy. And school policy had to be observed.
“Now, I could tell you not to talk, not to shut that door,” he pointed behind himself, “and that I will be right across the hall, but I’m not going to waste my breath. I will be on the other side of the school in the teacher’s lounge watching TV. Don’t break anything, don’t do anything too stupid, and don’t bother me. Is that clear?” Nods all round and he left, slamming the door behind him.
Loki had resigned himself to a day of hiding in a corner so his brother’s friends didn’t pick on him, but when Banner and Barton traded a grin and pulled out identical large bags of weed from their backpacks, he decided that maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad day after all.
What If? → College AU
AU - Iron Man & The Doctor
└ The Doctor and Tony Stark meet although one seems more impressed than the other.
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